Trump Announces New Department of Terribleness

Precedent-Elect Donald Trump announced today the formation of The Department of Terribleness, a new Cabinet-level agency tasked with monitoring the disturbing growth of terror-affiliated groups including “Election Was A Massive Historic Landslide” Deniers, Not Nice People, Liars Who Lie, Bad People, Very Very Bad People, Nasty Women, Some People Are Just Very Crooked Folks, Sore Losers, People Someone Should Get Out of Here, People Who Should Shut Up, The Millions Of Fake Voters Who Died Decades Ago But You Never Hear About That From The Media Do You, People Who Post Nasty Things About Precedents, and You — Yes You. According to KellyAnne Conway, rumors that Roy Cohn will be resurrected for the post of Terribleness Czar are true and unfounded. “The real question is, when will the media stop asking real questions?”

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